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Friday, July 8th, 2005
3:45 pm
It's been seriously Forever Since I have written! I should update more...Im soo Over myspace.

Well so many things have happened that I couldn't possibly sum up in a length of this entry so I'm just gonna kinda write a little. Not like anyone reads it anyway right?

Well I broke up with dave....
went out with another guy
..the other guy broke my heart
and now I'm back with Dave ..

that is an extremly long story by itself. Me and the other guy remain good friends.

I don't really have any other what you would call "Friends" right now. It gets kinda lonely...well really lonely..but hey im dealing.

Todays my birthday and I'm stuck at home cause no one really cares tooo much. But yeah

have a nice day.
all i want is love
Thursday, April 14th, 2005
8:22 pm
Yeah so a lot of shit has been going down..
I apoligize for everyone I've been a bitch to lately..

so heres a short version i dont really want to go into it

..my parents finally broke up for good
..my mom moved into a crappy dangerous hotel
..now she is living with my sister
..Im there half of the time too but its werid cause my dad and mom are fighting over me..
..my job is getting hetic im doing pretty bad becuse of stress\
..David almost went to jail for a very long time..it sucks...he's still in a lot of trouble..
..my dad got a two week notice at work saying he is getting layed off
...which means that he will go from makign 50 dollars an hour to none
..this sucks...
and theres more..
i dont wanna go into it
someone make it better!

blah blah blah
all i want is love
Monday, April 4th, 2005
9:19 pm
I hurt...
A lot

me and david are okay

but everything else around me is falling apart very very very quickly...way too fast to handle..

i feel broken
i dont wanna go into details....
just yeah

.i hurt
all i want is love
Sunday, March 27th, 2005
9:42 pm
Things are going...
good and bad..
Im not sure.

...Ive been fucking up
..Im going to stop
.I need to stop

I got a job...
At macys..
so cool.

...Me and David are having problems
..I love him <3
.whats new?

all i want is love
Saturday, March 5th, 2005
10:42 pm - New pics
mine and daves one year anniversary
check out the pics leave comments yeah

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all i want is love
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
5:50 pm - my love
The Basics ///

His name //
David Avila

His age //

How many years between you //
1 year and two weeks

How long have you been together //
a year

How long did you know each other before you got together?//
like a week lol

What physical feature attracted you to him first? //
I think because he was skinny lol

Eye color //

Hair color //

Hair style //
either buzzed or he grows it a bit

Normal Outfit //
surfer stuff regular t-shirts or long sleeve button ups and jeans

How did you meet //
Jacks party


How serious is it //
Pretty serious

Do you love him //
a lot
Does he love you //
pretty sure

Do your parents like him //
Most of the time

Do you trust him //
Most of the time

Would you share a toothbrush with him //
sure why not

Does he let you wear his pants //
if i wanted to

Do you have a shirt of his to sleep in that smells like him //
I have one of hise shirts it doesent really smell like him anymore

Do you like the way he smells //

Can you picture having kids with him //
probably yeah

What do you like the most about him //
he's kinda like me in most ways andhe keeps me on the right track

What bothers you the most about him //
a few things like his phobias and his attitude somteims

Does he have a temper //

What did you give him for the last gift giving occasion //
a photo album with lots of pics of us

What did he get you //
A white billabong shirt, a stuft animal puppy, a card and chocolate

What is the best present he's ever given you //
The guess watch/skirt and shirt for my birthday

Does he have a cute nickname for you //

Do you have a nickname for him //

Are you happy to be with him //

Does he embarrass you in public //

Whats his most attractive feature //
idk he's tall kinda and skinny

Does he smoke or do drugs? //
no way in hell..he'd kill me even...he drinks a lil sometimes


Does he have any peircings? //

Does he have any scars that you know of? //

Is he a Party boy or Stay at home? //
a little bit of both

Is he Outgoing or Shy? //

Does he love his mama? //
yeah his real mom he loves but he hates his step mom

Finally, a picture or two //

all i want is love
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
5:30 pm - Picture Perfect haha blah

1 skream - all i want is love
Sunday, February 6th, 2005
10:29 am - Yup
I need a name..


current mood: happy
all i want is love
Sunday, January 30th, 2005
10:09 pm - choking on tears
yes yes yes...amanda has yet again..more drama in her life

god this sucks

So Im not going to go into full details because..its between my family and davids family but yeah..

Davids parents were on vacatiobn for like 4 days and i assumed someone was watching their house because the baby's were still there. When david's parents got back they were like..i know you and amanda were at the house when we werent home.

I was NEVER there..ive only been to his house like 4 times the whole almsot year we have been going out..anyway..

davids dad calls my dad..my dad of course trusts me...and davids dad doesnet care ..and trys t oground david until he's eighteen.

of course davids not going to be grounded until he turns 18 for something he didnt even do..so he packs up his stuff and leaves...which now leaves him where? He is living at his frineds house right now but he cant stay there long because yeah..and een though we have a third bedroom in our house..i dont knwo that wiould happen. and he cant go back home because then he would be grounded for 4 months. and yea..i dont know waht to do and i feel sooo unbelivibly helpless...i wish there was something i could do for him ...ive been crying sooooo mucn. bla..if anyone has any suggestion..thanks...yeah
all i want is love
Friday, January 28th, 2005
7:52 pm - Goodbye lakewood..hello ephs
As It said in the title..Goodbye lakewood..hello ephs..Im no longer going to that school I will be at the los coyotes ephs now. Yay for me..i suppose..

Im getting tired of myspace so I figured id write a rather long update on here. feel free to skip it if you dont know me well.

Things are going well..but not soo great at the same time. Ive been sick for a long time and it sucks ass...its probably due to the shit hole that im living in..unsanitary air bla bla bla. Leaving school was okay but i didnt get to say goodbye to anyone. Oh well its better off that way.
David and I are doing great. It's almost been a year...god thats sooo long.
I really really want a maltease or maltipoo puppy really really bad and its all i can think about for some reason...my mommy is calling me obssesive compalisive....i believe her
I also really want to lose lots of weight and start going to the gym and tanning salon more
I <3 tanning~ i used to love being white but eh...
im worried about my parents..they arent healthy either and they wont work out and yeah..not good not good.
I miss people...friends in particular. I miss being able to stay the night at peoples houses and for them to enjoy my company. Katey is my bestest friend in the whole world...but her mom never lets her do anything and since she is my only friend..it kinda suck..expecially since her mom doesent exactly like me too well. her guy is "my twin brother of a different race" we are exactly alike yeah. I've also only met davids mom once since me and david have been going out..that really really sucks.
I miss: erika(even tho i dont like her at the moment at all), kady,kaitlyn (wtf) alley, john, and more people that i just cant think of..
It's cold..i love the cold and the rain but not right now for some reason


I stooped doing drugs...long long time ago..like when me and david starting going out..yes im a good girl..i got fairly good grades on my report card..it turns out my x bf matt and david used to hang out in the same group in middle school. Everyone i hang out with has some sort of learning problem. I associate myself with peoople that dont knwo what their doing and dont care...therefore..i dont know what im doing and i dont care..it sucks...but its how it goes....this makes no sense..i guess this is just me doing a freewrite reflecting upon..me....yup

people needa go back to live journal and away from mysapce...myspace is the devil..yup..i used it frequantly tho....im bored...anyone have any suggestions?

I want to get something periced but im not sure what...i was thinking my lip..but david would flip. God we arent married yet..im soo sheltered..i know his intention are good..but yeah
he's the only guy that i have been this comfortable around..im not soo insecure around him because i dont really worry about him leaving me that much. I know he loves me.

"our scars remind us that the past is real"
god who sings that song..its sooo unbelivebly true.

Im going emo..no no...i am emo..haha...but nto the conformist typical emo. Yay. I dont want to be a follower...nor a leader..i just want to be me..but im not sure what/who that is.
I need to find a job but i dont WANT to and the lack of will power is not doing me any good.
Dance is great. I love dancing so much i wish i would have picked it up at a younger age

I dont know what i want to do with the rest of my life and thats scary. I used to know what i wanted to do when I grew up but now..no clue..no clue at all..it sucks.
I miss surfing...and the summer....and the beach..when i was thin....

i probably sound like im on drugs...but im not ..this is what happens when i stay home on a friday night dosed up on some good sinus meds. I rented movies. i want to go watch them. my feet are cold and im going to fall asleep

so there you go..i dont know if anyone reads this..but here is your long comment
i love you guys

oh and incase you really dont know who i am anymore
this is a recent pic

I Love David
and yeah..
bye bye
1 skream - all i want is love
Sunday, January 9th, 2005
4:53 pm
picsCollapse )

I've been doing well.. Check out hte new pics..leave comments. I miss you guys! i dont think ayone ever reads this tho :(
4 skreams - all i want is love
Saturday, December 25th, 2004
8:40 pm - Blah
Why...ooh why do I get so depressed on christmas night....I want a big family....My baby is sick and hurt really bad and he wont go to the doctor even though he has a flesh wound all the way down to his bone on his finger. Im really worried about him. Blah...depression sucks. I liked my gifts though...lots of cool new stuff...Im thankful for my parents, my sister, david and katey. Without you guys...I would never be able to survive. I love you!

current mood: depressed
all i want is love
Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
10:58 am - upset
Well..David's dad and step mom are getting a divorce. Which is good in a way because now he doesnet have to be all upset all the time because of things she does to him. But im scared...what if he moves far away...he's staying at his grandmas right now which isnt a problem she lives pretty close...but its only a one bedroom place until his dad and him can find something more permante. It's so werid last night I couldent sleep until like 3 in the monring..and I had this huge bad feeling that something was going to happen and then david called this morning waking me up saying he was moving in with his grandma and then who knows where. Please god dont let him move far....ahhh...well yup thats it. I love you dave..so much!

current mood: worried
1 skream - all i want is love
Monday, December 13th, 2004
12:19 pm - perfect
Today was so perfect. I havent had a good day like this in a long time. I needed that..thank you babe.

So anyway today I got my hair re done again cause it faded and then I went to the mall with the best guy in the world..and then we came back to my sisters house to babysit chelsea(my niece) and he was sooooo cool with her even though he hates kids he was playig with her and stuff and it almost felt like this was our house and it was our kid.

Then we fell asleep all intertwined on the couch


I hope we have many many more days like this. Its really nice to feel loved again and not stress about anything. In short this is probably one of the best days of my life..thanks you one person...I love you David

"The sky is fallin', and it's
Early in the mornin', but it's
Okay somehow
I'm better off everyday
When I'm standing in the pouring rain
I don't mind
I think of you and everything's alright
I used to think i had it good
But now I know that I'm misunderstood
With you I'd say
I'm better off in everyway"

current mood: loved
all i want is love
Thursday, December 9th, 2004
9:52 pm - I love
I love all my lil bitches just kidding hehe

Im gonna have a baby girl
and im gonna name her hailey
and Katey is having a boy
Named Hayden
and we are going to raise them together
and then they are going to go to school
"we have 2 mommys and no daddy's" lol

1 skream - all i want is love
9:43 pm - yah
haha my boyfriends such a dork
such a cute little dork
but I love him This (holds out arms) damn much haha
8 months a few days and couinting yay
yo amor tu

i think thats how it is im not in spanish anymoreanyway
i love u guys
bye bye
all i want is love
4:36 pm - nothing new
IM upset yeah nothing new.. i hate myself for no reason at all
damn why does halo 2 have to come out today..of ALL fucking days
yeah i wouldnet expect anyone to understand
bla bla bla
isnt life great
yeah sure
i HATE school..i will die before i get through all my honor's class's this year
im not going to get out alive...
yup thats about it...so if anyone else wants to join in on a pity party
you know where to find me
luv ya
all i want is love
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
8:59 pm - So hows my hair
how do u like my hair..comments??

9 skreams - all i want is love
Sunday, November 28th, 2004
8:30 pm - damn
so the party ive been planning for 2 months has now gone to hell
davids going on a stupid surf trip
andys working
erikas working
mike wont come cause erika isnt
and yeah a few more
so its just me and katey..some party whooo
im sad i cried like all day
not because of the other people im just really
disappointed with him for not standing up to his
mom..sometimes I SWEAR he doesent even care
sigh alright i love you..and i love david much
all i want is love
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
5:43 pm
Im obesse!!!!!!!! anyone have any weight loss tips haha...i know i know...i needa work out..im just so dam lazy ....grrr...i have nothing to say i just felt like updateing love ya all
i love david
all i want is love
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